We sneak out of a party at midnight and collect the dog for a run around the block. 

At the little dark fenced in playground, we let her off the leash and sit on the sea saw. 

You fling over the hip flask while you tell me secrets as we bounce the 20 cms off the ground 

and the stars 

never looked so close.

We lie sideways on our bed and you look like we’re on the beach with your freckles and gritty hair. 

I feel young when I tell you this and you turn your hand into a crab that scatters up the sand sheets between us.

endings always smell burnt

I’ve been with many a show

pony who could always pull

a trick, it took but a flick

of the wrist for hearts

to splinter

and arteries to twist.

Chickenbones

and well lodged stones

kept my insides company

and though the world was

sometimes a hush

sometimes a scream,

my ears could never quite adjust,

spinning this way and that.

I didn’t even dare to dream

of a coloured wall home,

you and all the epic melodies you bring.

And whilst it is all wonderful and all

that the stupendous greatness

blows my mind

it really is a cool bullet waiting.

Disturbingly smiling

Resting at my temple.

With dead certainty.

If I ever lost you

That’d really pull the trigger

ghosts

Last night we slept uneasy.

We were both being chased.

I saw humans with blurred faces

they crept into the house and moved slowly.

Yours wore dark sunglasses

and jogged with headphones.

My hand found yours under the blanket.

Your feet curled around mine

and by the morning

your cheek was pressed against my nose

and I couldn't see past your beloved face

to my demons anymore.

you know, when you go crazy with small

it’s a secret you see,

that my jealousy

isn’t as plain as a Jane

she’s a much spindlier kind

that forces my hand to feed her

she’s not really envy either

though those dark green colours

do suit her

it’s that I strive to be

something grander

and on some of these days

through some of the ways,

spiral down my own stairwell

when I search for better

place you up high

and pour myself bitter

it’s more a self hate I guess

but you’d think so much less

of my cool armor

that I polish and shine

for you to see your reflection

a tortoise who’s shell

(but please do not tell)

is actually a darkly hopeless collection

seems

I might be missing home a little

or an open road

or healthy earth

and its rich songs

or maybe just the fresh air

and to breathe it in isolation

to tell you truly

Jessica Tremp was found in the raccoon enclosure at the Zurich zoo at 9 years of age, whispering stories of velvet nights and darker days and desperately trying to hold on to their clammy little hands.

When the guard approached, she took out her toy camera and asked him to look wistful.

Years later she found herself knocking knees on a bar stool with a rather dashing specimen of a male pantomime. She gestured at his empty glass and his smile made her feel drunker than she was. They quickly moved in to a tall leaning house in a street in Marseille that woke up early with flowers, croissants and the sound of jostling coffee cups but after many a silent fight she became frustrated when her arguments were met by his big eyes and hands searching a nonexistent cupboard.

One day while he was practicing the art of cooking invisible scrambled eggs, she ran her fingers longingly over the fraying stickers on her old suitcase until a tear caught on her lip and she threw some frilly knickers, her camera and her favourite caramel lollies into it and walked out on him.

She boarded a ship on the north coast promising her golden sands on an upside down country. One hour into the trip she fell sea sick and spent the next few weeks lying in her dorm unable to move. The crew would lift her out to do her bed, then lift her back in and fed her croutons from a paper bag and asked her about the people in the pictures she kept in a box. Her dreams were wild and her legs itched to join them on bare horse backs in candy coloured skies.

Melbourne galloped its way in to her heart and she settled into a colourful house with thick walls, a plastic dinosaur in its fireplace and a man that speaks her language.

Her right index finger has a nervous twitch every time she sees something pleasing. This works against her when haggling at markets, obviously, though if you gently press a camera in to her palm, you can catch her smiling. Sometimes she accidentally spills whiskey on her taxidermied animal friends when she’s looking for her magnifying glass, because, you know, she can’t see all that well anymore.

She would like you to know that she’s never burnt ants with it and

she’s never boarded a ship again in her life.

Why does the taste of pennies remind you of losing a tooth?

I wasn’t bled from the sea

The sky bled me, opened

her clouds,

her wounds

And spitting and coughing in grays

and bruised violets gave birth

you see the sunset

was always

meant to be for a waning

and waxing heart there’s the dark

with star strings attached

to your fingers that guide your

hands to pet your hair

There, there

the tuna that whispered your fears

(yet unnamed)

now caress your toes (for a) while

you swim and you ache to join

the mammals on the boat

should have remembered the tides

and their rides to the shore

for waves won’t swallow you whole

if you allow yourself to float

it's 8° in Melbourne and I really wanted to stay in bed with you this morning

My new kitchen holds
wine stains and thyme
and my child fingers
dip into the pot of
the sweetest smiles
that friends shed
and it should be said
that your canny trick
of bringing my violent boil
to this fragrant simmer
is a crazy kind of beautiful
I’ve never felt so warm on
such an icy winters day
And I believe it to be true
that all the bees that
were buzzing in my bonnet
are busy making honey
for you

found a little path back home

Took a little time away with me

A few books

Some rum

A hell of a lot of sun

Wore a hat

Like it had always belonged

Swam with turtles

Held my lovers hand

And didn’t have to let go

Danced with a coconut

On dusk-lit sand

And slowly but surely

Made friends with me again

push and shove

I can feel the weight in my toes once I really get swinging.
The rope feels rough in my palms in just the right way
and the wooden seat that I press in to when I stretch my legs back out,
well, I wish it dug in a little harder.
My stomach does a little skip at the highest point.
It knows we’re on our way down before my body can even follow.
And I have to admit I hate that part the most
even though I disguise the panic by letting my head roll back
and my hair trail along the ground,
collecting leaves and twigs on the way.
And on the short little climb back up,
the sun twinkles just so
and I fake a little smile
because I’ve learned the rhythm well enough
to know there’s only time for a spurt of a giggle
before I kick back at the knees
lean forward back into the abyss
and I pretend to know it all here too.
But it’s impossible to see what’s lurking behind you
or who’s out to get you in the most tricksy way
when you’re swinging backwards

the architect

I am building a fort

like when I was seven

with the pillows

and the chairs

my aunties cats hairs

and a safety blanket

with its holes

where the light came through

I’ve got the string

I’ve got cookies and milk

I’ve got scarves of silk

but this one extends to the beach

and lets the seagulls nest on my belly

this one runs down to the woods

and nuzzles with the deer

this one won’t be interrupted

by ‘dinner’s ready’ or ‘turn off the telly’

this one is no trespassing

for both our safety

you won’t even see it

or me within

it’s my new safe shell

in my own little hell

abracadabra

I’ve always loved a magic trick. Especially cards. You can have endless fun with those. I’d love for you to teach me the one where you guess the card I’m holding by looking into my eyes. closely. For a very. long. time. Here. Let me practice some more. On that bench there. But you always preferred to perform bigger and louder tricks. On stages. With audiences. And sometimes daggers. Your most notable one? To disappear completely.